Gallup Virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).
George Bush Virus 1: Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until November.
George Bush Virus 2: It starts by boldly stating, "Read my test... no new files!" on the screen, proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional Virus 1.
Government Economist Virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
Gridlock Virus: Keeps shuffling information that it calls 'bills' between your CPU and BUS, sending messages like 'House Bill #xxxx is unacceptable to Senate'. Never gets any work done.
Health Care Virus: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500
Imelda Marcos Virus: Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then subtracts money from your Quicken Account, and spends it all on expensive shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
Jack Kevorkian Virus 1: Enables irreparably damaged files to delete themselves.
Jack Kevorkian Virus 2: Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.
Elvis Presley Virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self-destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
Jerry Brown Virus: Blanks your screen and begins flashing a 1-800 number.
Johnny Cochrane Virus: Constantly gloats on how fast it is when compared to the Marcia Clark Virus.
LA PD Virus: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defense."
MCI Virus 1: Encourages you to send it to your friends and family.
Joke Virus: Poses as a harmless list of funny computer virus names! Is quickly passed from one user to all other users known via e-mail, consequently consuming all known network resources.
Bobbit Virus: removes a vital part of your hard disc and then re-attaches it (but that part will never work again).
Oprah Winfrey Virus: your 200mb hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80mb, and then slowly expands back to 200mb
AT&T Virus: every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting
MCI Virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you are paying to much for the AT&T virus.
Paul Revere Virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disc attack: once, if by LAN; twice, if by C:
Politically Correct Virus: never identifies itself as a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism."
Ross Perot Virus: activates every component in your system just before the whole doggone thing quits.
Mario Cuomo Virus: it would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.
Ted Turner Virus: colorizes your monochrome monitor.
Arnold Schwarzeneggar Virus: terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
Government Economist Virus: nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
Federal Bureaucrat Virus: Devides your hard disc into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.
Texas Virus: makes sure it's bigger than any other file
Adam and Eve Virus: Takes a couple bytes out of your apple.
Congressional Virus: the computer locks up, and the screen splits in half with the same messages appearing on each side of the screen. The message says that the blame for the gridlock is caused by the other side.
Airline Luggage Virus: you're in CIRT, but your data is at LOBO lab.
Freudian Virus: your computer becomes obsessed with marying its own motherboard.
PBS Virus: your programs stop running every few minutes to ask for money.
Nike Virus: just does it.
School Bully Virus: steals the Nike virus at gunpoint.
Sears Virus: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply, and a set of shocks.
Extended Warrantee Virus: tells you a system will never break down if you buy it, and then asks you if you want repair coverage.
Jimmy Hoffa Virus: Your programs can never be found again.
Kevorkian Virus: helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.
Star Trek Virus: invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
Cleveland Indians Virus: makes your 486/50 machine perform like a 286AT.
Chicago Cubs Virus: your pc makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in the reviews, but you still love it.