YOU MAY BE AN ENGINEER IF...

You introduce your wife as "[email protected]"
Your spouse sends you an email instead of calling you to dinner
You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
You want a Rewritable CD-ROM for Christmas
Dilbert is your hero
You stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
You can name 6 Star Trek episodes
The only jokes you receive are through email
Your wrist watch has more computing power than a Pentium II
Your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place
You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
You use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car
You have used coat hangers & duct tape for something other than hanging coats & taping ducts
At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out light bulb in the string
You window shop at Radio Shack
Your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
You have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area
You carry on a one hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually took five minutes to run
You are convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage door opener & your camera's flash attachment
You don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is
You have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
You know the direction the water swirls when you flush
You own "Official Star Trek" anything
You have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside
A team of you & your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception
You have ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
You are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor
You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
You have never backed-up your hard drive
You are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud
You truly believe aliens are living among us
You have ever saved a power cord from a broken appliance
You have ever purchased an electric appliance "as-is"
You see a good design but still have to change it
The sales person at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
You still own a slide rule & know how to work it
The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind
You own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are
You rotate your screen savers more than your automobile tires
You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal
You have more toys than your kids
You need a checklist to turn on your TV
You have introduced your kids by the wrong name
You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
Your I.Q. is bigger than your weight
The microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work & you rush up front to fix it
You can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
You have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery Channel & have seen most of the shows already
You have ever owned a calculator with no equal key & know what RPN stands for
Your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, & you grew up thinking this was normal
You know how to take the cover off your computer, & what size screw driver to use
You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
People groan at a party when you pick out the music
You can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week
You did the sound system for your senior prom
Your checkbook always balances
Your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
You have more friends on the internet than in real life
You thought the real heros of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers
You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep
You spend more on your home computer than your car
You know what http:\\ stands for
You've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio
You have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts & nuts in your garage
Your 3 year old son asks you why the sky is blue & you try to explain the atmospheric absorption theory
Your lap-top computer costs more than your car
Your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate