A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is smoking a cigarette and has a satisfied smile on its face,
whilst the egg is frowning and looking a tad put out.
The egg mutters to nobody in particular, "I guess we answered THAT question."

Is your computer male or female?

As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female
(e.g., "Steady as she goes," or "She's listing to starboard, Captain!").
Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers
should also be referred to as being female.
Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follow:

Five reasons to believe computers are female:
1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as,
"If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you,"
4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your
paycheck on accessories for it.

However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers
should be referred to as if they were male.
Their reasons follow:

Five reasons to believe computers are male:
1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer,
you could have obtained a better model.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

A woman was very despondent over not having sex in quite some time.
She was becoming agitated and worried that she might never find a mate.
In hopes of finding a solution to her problem, she decided that it was time to see a doctor.
Looking through the phone book, she came upon a Chinese doctor (a sex therapist) named Dr. Chang.
When the woman arrived, she told the doctor her symptoms, and he said,
"Take off all your crothes and you crawl real fass away from me across the froor".
She crawled to the other side of the room and Dr. Chang said, "Now...you crawl real fass back to me,"
and she did. Dr. Chang shook his head and said, "you haff real bad case of Zachary Disease....
worse case I ever see! That why you haff sex probrem". The woman was completely confused and
asked the doctor exactly what Zachary Disease was and he replied, "Zachary Disease....
that when your face rook zachary rike your ass! "