I know the season's coming to an end and you need entertainment... --George Carlin

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?

What's another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly that loses it wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?  Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

If you throw a cat out the window does it become kitty litter?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

When a cow laughs does milk come up his nose?

How did a fool and his money GET together?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

What's another word for thersaurus?

Why do they sterlize the needles for lethal injection?

Why is abbrieviation such a long word?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

Is it true that cannibals can't eat clowns cause they taste funny?

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Do blind eskimos have seeing eye sled dogs?

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

What do they use to ship sytrofoam?

Why do they call it a tv set when you only get one?

Do radioactive cats have 18 and a half lives?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?